Wonder What It Will Be Like?

Normally, I LOVE runnin' my mouth on the phone. Can do it for hours and not grow weary of it. But this mornin' I received a call that shocked me back to reality. It was my daughter's social worker (Sounds so weird sayin' that). She was remindin' me that we will be gettin' together on Friday. No, it's not so that we can go grab a couple of mango magaritas and get blissfully inebriated. This pow wow that she buzzed me about is gonna take place in front of a judge who would rather be anywhere else and a room full of parents who's kids have been snatched up by the long, menancing talons of the State.



Mz. Case Worker told me that the plan is to get my daughter's level of care stabilized so that they can eventually transition her to a foster or group home so that she can be closer to her familia. Great news, huh? I'm thrilled about her progress. But there's somethin' that stays on my mind like a depressin' love song. What happens if history repeats itself once she's well enough to come back home? Will I have to stash all of our carving and steak knives in a secrect place so she won't carve up her own legs or anyone else's body parts?





If she gets angry(which at some point she will), will she understand how to deal with it in a positive way or will she run away and stay gone for 10-12 hours at a time like before? Will one of the three voices that she heard before come back and seduce her to camp out on our roof again?

Will she confide in me about her murderous musings? Who wants to hear their child tell them that they aspire to be among the ranks of Ted Bundy and Jeffrey Dahmer?? Geez. There's a part of me that's scared for her to return. What will it be like? Will we all return back to walkin' on eggshells not knowin what to expect from one minute to the next? Will our home have some semblance of peace? Tranquility? WHAT'S IT GONNA BE LIKE??!!