"Man"-datory Vs. Voluntary: Which Should It Be??

It was hot. I'm talkin' scramble-an-egg-on-the-sidewalk-kind of scorcher. Perspiring and sticky male bodies pounding the pavement while showin' off their best moves at the neighborhood b-ball court. The ladies standin' around tryin' to look fiercly fab while it feels like our skin is gettin' licked by the flames of Dante's Inferno. It was summer and I was takin' a much needed break from my quick paced college routine. I'm slowly casin' my surroundings WHEN I SEE HIM.




He looks...he's like...like a chocolate tornado thunderin' down the court. He does a fake, turns around and does a slam dunk so hard it makes my teeth chatter. I ask my cuzzo who this Michael Jordan wannabe was. Next thing I realize is that she is up at the fence tellin' this guy that I was feelin' him LIKE THAT!! No, she didn't!! Yeah, actually she really did. Anywhooters, dude comes to my grandma's house that night and asks if what he had heard earlier was true. I broke it down for him. Let him know that I was only there for the summer and I already had a man. He smiled and said "we'll see." After months of bein' inseparable, the season of summertime was quickly comin' to a close. It was time to get back to reality. HOWEVER, not before findin' out that...



Ok. Let's fast foward 16 years past all the humilation I allowed him to put me through. We now share 2 beautiful children just 1 year and 4 days apart. In all of these years, he never paid one red dime of support. He somehow managed to stay one step ahead of "the man" and would quit his job before they were able to start garnishing his checks. He now has a passionate love affair with the penal system. What a great guy, huh? Despite my scathin' sarcasm, this situation actually poses a moral dilemma in the deep caverns of my psyche. I think that

This was somethin' that me and my mom sometimes didn't see eye to eye on. She would always tell me that regardless of how a man FELT, he should be held financially responsible for goin' half on makin' his baby. In earlier years, I took what I like to call the bleedin' heart stance. Simply put, this just meant that a man (or woman) shouldn't have to be FORCED by our state govermental agencies to pay for his children if he felt like he didn't have it in his heart to. Over the years as my kids have gotten older, I came to realize that although this mindset may seem somewhat NOBLE, it just wasn't PRACTICAL.

I've come to the conclusion that this definitely could end up bein' my fate...


as it could be for quite a staggerin' amount of women as well as even some men. Should men or women be FORCED to pay child support or should it be optional? Do you think makin' it "man"-datory creates unnecessary ill feelings between the absent parent and the custodial parent? What about between the absent parent and the child? I've spoken my piece. Now, I'm passin the mic



to YOU...