I had alot of respect for her.
She can sing AND tickle the keys.
AT THE SAME TIME.
Her lyrics are movin' and upliftin'.
Plus, the fact that she is drop dead GAWJUS sho' doesn't hurt her none.
I feel like Alicia is before her time in terms of her sound.
Like she has an old soul.
She ain't singin' 'bout nobody droppin' they booty to da floor and makin' it quake.
When she comes out on stage to perform, you can't see if she has nipple rings or see her Tampax string danglin' from between her thighs.
The girl's style screams class.
Don't get me wrong.
She's still as pretty as a picture.
Can still tear a piano up.
It's her sense of MORALITY (or lack thereof) that's got my bikinis in a bunch.
Y'all already know what I'm talkin' bout.
Her and Swizz Tweets.
Oh my fault.
But doesn't he look strangely like some exotic bird species that you might find in the bushes of the Bahamas?
Let's face it.
Swizz had a wife.
Before this all went down, Swizz and Alicia had been workin' very closely together.
I get that.
But when she felt like her feelings were movin' out of the friends' zone and into the "please throw me down on the soundboard and sex me till my knees cramp up" zone she had a chance to check herself AND him.
Obviously, she didn't.
Can you imagine how Mashonda must have felt?
Like a thong wedged in between the butt cheeks of a 450 lb woman.
Deserted AND betrayed.
I gotta say though.
Shonda handled it like a true champ.
I'm sure Alicia had plenty of dudes who would've given up they playa' status just for the CHANCE to even clean her toilet bowl.
What was wrong with gettin' with a man who was SINGLE??!!
But I have zero tolerance for these type of home wreckin' shenanigans.
I mean, they didn't just have some torrid, passionate one year affair.
Alicia got knocked up.
That was heartbreakin'.
They didn't just elope and go runnin' off to a justice of the peace or even let Elvis marry them in Vegas.
These peeps had an elaborate Nefertiti-Nile River-Egyptian type themed wedding.
As a woman, I felt this one.
To me, this was a like givin' a woman a bitch slap wearin' brass knuckles.
In the wise words of Grant M. Bright:
"You reap what you sow. Life is like a boomerang. Our thoughts, deeds, and words return to us sooner or later with astounding accuracy."
Alicia gurl, let's take a quiz.
Here's my first question to you:
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