Where's Will?

I know he didn't get abducted by aliens. Well if he did, how come I didn't get the memo?. Yet, he seems to be missin' from that great big silver screen. My inquisitive inquiry for today is WHY?

Is it because he's too busy focusin' on gettin' Willow to keep on "whippin' her hair?



Wait, wait. Could it be because he's preppin' Jay Jay for his next movie or musical role?



I gotta say this. My cinematic experience has become somewhat mediocre and mundane since Will has started concentratin' more on his children's careers. Sigh.





I know this might sound just a teeny tiny bit mean but...why can't Jada just take the reigns concerin' the kiddos? It's not exactly like her career is on the cuttin' edge right now (shruggin' shoulders).




Woooooooowww. Jada, please leave the screamin' and singin' to Willow. Anyhooters, Willie Will. I need ya!! Come back!! I'm tired of lookin' at Idris with his lukewarm actin' skills. Give him a run for his money!!

Bey Bey, Are Ya Ok?

Umm, yeah. See, I was...Wow. Ummm...yeah. Question. Is there anyone else wonderin' why Bey is suddenly lookin' like Casper The Friendly Ghost?






I mean, she's lookin' like she's rollin' with Edward and his crew from Twilight.





What in the name of fajitas and fish cakes is really goin' on here? Does she feel like she needs a skin bleaching scheme to try and stay on top? Was she not light-bright, and close-to white enough before? I don't know. Does somebody need to get in contact with Papa Knowles? I mean, even her hair has her lookin' like Fun -In The Sun Barbie.
Bey Bey baby, this is NOT a good look. Quit while ya ahead 'fo ya start lookin' like:




I'm just sayin'.

Pre-teen Pandemonium!!!

Raising teenagers is about as much fun as clippin' the toenails off a rhino. I'm sorry. Allow me to digress. If you have perfect progenies like this:






then go out and have yourself a big ole' jelly jar full of sweet tea and CELEBRATE!!! Chile' that's AWESOME news!!

However, this is more of what my reality cast and crew looks like:





Case in point. My puberty-stricken 12 y.o.son. He is givin' me AND the students and staff at his school a MASSIVE migraine. You know your munchkin is a menance when the principal has you on speed dial. Hmmph. Ya betta ask somebody.
I've tried givin' him an" attitude adjustment":



We've had "time -out talk sessions such as this:






He's even been chattin' it up with a counselor:




But....NOTHING'S WORKING!!!!!! AARGH!!!!




I don't want this....




to be my son's fate. This momma is cryin' out:

Being Financially Challenged...

REALLY SUCKS!!!!





My bank account is in therapy cuz it's sufferin' from depression!!




Things just can't stay this way, so...

I'm makin' some new moves..

Lookin' for new employment endeavors...





Relocating my fam to the home of palm trees and sunny skies...







Did I forget to mention that..




Even though my piggy bank might be in intensive care right now, I realize that this is just a temporary hiccup. I still intend to take life by the chin, look in its face and say:

When Is Enough Enough?

March 30, 2011. This day has been appropriately named "Wild And Wacked Out Wednesday." There were no end of the world predictions for that day. There were no midnight colored cats that were hangin' around our front door. Friday the 13th had come and gone. Little did we know that our lives were about to take on a cataclysmic change on such a seemingly..normal day.Started off ok. The kiddos went skippin' off to school. I stayed here at home carrying on my domestic duties. The day was goin' just fine and dandy.






4:30 P.M. Me and my lovable lil' angels had just finished stuffin' our stomachs with a delectable din din. A few minutes later, my darlin' daughter said that she needed to bend my ear for a few minutes. Oh Lawd. What now? For those of you that don't know, my tumultous teen queen puts the "d" in drama, ok? To say that I wasn't really lookin' forward to this parental powwow would be an understatement. Sigh. I took a few deep breaths and prepared myself for the unknown. She started tellin' me her ideas about leavin' the nest. Ya know, movin' out.




Now, don't get a sista wrong. I'm all for the youngins comin' into ther own AT THE RIGHT TIME. How-be-ever, my teen queen is still in high school. Bad timing. As the convo continued forward, it began to take a somewhat..different turn. She began to reveal to me that she wanted to be cozily cohabited with one of her gal pals and some "mystery" friend. Hmm. Kids think they so daggone slick, don't they? As I dug a lil' deeper, I uncovered the fact that this other "person" was a dude. We're not just talkin' some pimple-poppin', awkward-actin-gangly and goofy type teenage boy. Haha. Life just wouldn't be so simple. Let's just say that this guy is old enough where he could take me to our hole-in the wall-bar and buy me as many mango maragritas as I can drink!!



Whoa, whoa. Slow down Mustang Sally. She knew that she wasn't even allowed to be talkin' on the telly with this man (cuz he's too OLD). Now, she's flappin' her lips to say that they're gonna be SCHMOOZIN' AND SHACKIN' TOGETHER??!! WHAT??!! Once I was able to start breathing normally again, I calmly told her that that wasn't gonna happen. It had been made very clear to her before that if she wanted to continue to be taken care of AS A CHILD, then she was gonna have to put that relationship on the back burner.



Next thing I know, she's on the phone tellin' someone that she's about to bounce. Did I hear her right? Chile please. Chaos and confusion follow soon after. The handsets start ringin' off the hook. My mom calls askin' me questions that I really can't answer. My young woman is upstairs flingin' open dresser drawers and savagely stuffin' all her belongings in whatever bags she can find. It's slowly startin' to sink in. THIS GIRL IS LEAVIN' HOME TO LIVE WITH SOME RANDOM GUY THAT SHE MET WHILE INTERACTIN' ON THE INTERNET. Incredible.




Let me ask ya somethin'? Did you honestly believe that this daytime dilemma ended right here? My 18 y.o. not-goin' to high -school-anymore- daughter is now gonna be a ....



Man, these kids waste no time. She has about as much business with a baby as my 12 y.o. son. You see, even though she may be CHRONOLOGICALLY 18, her mind functions like that of a 12 or 13 y.o. child. The thing that REALLY had me about to pluck my eyelashes out one by one is the fact that she is bipolar. As a result of her pregnancy, her doctor has had to take her off one of her meds. We don't know what kind of effect that will have on her moods and such. How about the baby? What if her or she gets this dastardly disorder? I'm tellin' ya, it's enough to make me wanna holla.