What You Gonna Do When They Come For You?

PhotobucketPhotobucketSelfish. Moody. Aloof yet extremely family oriented at times. Artistically gifted and talented. I love him beyond life itself but sometimes I don't like him very much. Sorry ladies. I know this would be the PERFECT waiting to exhale-male bashing-wave your hands in the air-type moment, but it isnt. We'll save that for another blog.

I'm talking about my son. My seed. My Shaka Zulu in training. My testosterone-fueled-puberty stricken-offspring. I love being a parent. It's molded and shaped me into the woman that I am today. (Needle scratching on a record).Hold up. Wait a damn minute. Doesnt this sound like an excerpt straight from the pages of Parenting Today magazine? Yes, to hell it does!!!!!! I'm sorry yall. The families in those mags are NOT my reality.

Their reality:

My reality:


By societal standards, our family doesnt quite fit within the lines of what most would consider the "norm." My oldest child was diagnosed as being schizo-affective. My youngest child is autistic. My other 2 children just seem to fit in wherever they can .

My 15 y.o.(who this blog is about) and I have recently reached a pivotal point in our mother-son kinship. I had to be the bad guy, and temporarily take everything away from him that was fun and pleasure inducing. No, it's not because I was trying to be mean. It's because he did something really terrible. He had to be punished, right? As part of his prison sentence I took away his most prized possessions. As a result, he told me that I wasnt taking his things away from him. You know at this point, I don't think he realized how close he was to tasting the skin from my back hand swing.


I took a couple of deep cleansing breaths. I looked up at my son (hey, the boy is 6'0) and I calmly said "watch this." I took his invaluables and disposed of them using a bathtub and some steamy hot water. At this juncture, I dusted my hands off and thought that would be the end of it. Hmmm. My 15 y.o. timebomb went in the bedroom and guess what he did?
Bad boys, bad boys
What you gone do?
What you gone do when they come for you?


You got it. In about 15 minutes who do you think came knocking at my door like they were breaking up an international drug trading ring? My son told 5-0 that I had taken his property unauthorized and destroyed it.(I purchased these items yet he calls them HIS property.) Isnt that a crime he asked? What in the name of cheese eggs is going on here?



  1. Abina said...:

    Got to your blog by way of NWSO's feature. I don't have answer to your question, mainly because I'm not a parent and I'm only a year older than what is considered teenagehood. All I can say is that this isn't the worst of it. Especially since he's a boy. It sounds as though he's at that "talk back and let your parent know who's the boss" stage. Hopefully you find a method that helps.

    Great posts by the way.

  1. Hey Abina!!! It's nice to hear from a fellow Sockhead...since you're not a mommy yet, here's something to chew on..think long and hard before you make the decision to become a parent!!

  1. jp said...:

    I tried to post to this yesterday, but couldn't remember my google account...lol..you have sooo many checks and balances here, but a woman's gotta have some security, right? I will try to recapture what I wanted to share...I too have a teen aged son. YOU, particularly as a woman, will need to put the FEAR of God in this youngun......You gonna have to MAKE him think you're crazier than you seemed when you trashed his toys. Even though he's bigger, likely stronger and all of that, you gotta let him know, as Bill Cosby once said: I brought you into this world...and I can take you out! I suggest you wait until he's good and sleep..snoring and slobberin, just as happy as can be. Then you approach his bed and put a knife to his throat...hold hid head so he doesn't accidentally get his throat slit..then you tell him: YOU will NEVER get the drop on me...I will kill you if you EVER look like you dreamed about hittin me....If you look like you bout to try to be Billy badd azzz. You think about that and come to me correct!
    After this, you can speak to him in a civil manner, like he's a real human being. You tell him how things are gonna be..what you expect..how it's for his own good and the benefit of his community, race, yada-yada-yada......So school--good grades are expected...coming home: curfew WILL be respected...voice tones and eye rollin and all that grown up ish--will not be tolerated......I think if you lay it out right, you can win this battle. IT is never too late to use fear...and then positive and negative motivations to help your kids stay on the correct path....called the po-po on you.....WOW...that's rich! he's the one with the cojones...but you better nip this shyt in the bud b4 it's the ambulance comin for ONE of y'all...........

  1. Hey jp..
    Nice 2 hear from u!!!The advice that you gave me about putting the blade to his throat wld be interesting to try but...risky. More than likely if he reported me to the police about destroying some trading cards he wld more than likely buzz them bck about what I had done. Chances are I would be looking at a possible assault with a deadly weapon charge.

  1. D.V. said...:

    have em remember why they need you in the first place; at least that's what i keep tellin my mom. Stop cooking his food or cleanin his room (if you do in the 1st place)they just need to recognize what you do for em and they will fall in line....i think

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