Am I bein' selfish?
Probably. Not interested in bein' politically correct today. Yeah, I might end up soundin' like a bad mamacita. But ya know what? I'm just gonna have to take that chance. Those with hearts and emotions with the constitution of warm jello, might quickly want to make their escape. Sigh. Come. Let me show you what's got my mind spinnin' and spiralin' out of control.
I'm gonna be a GRANDMA!!!! I DON'T WANNA! I DON'T WANNA!!(stompin' my feet.)
Yeah, yeah. I could be like this cool grammy in the picture who is able to perform amazing acrobatic feats. But....I'm.Just.Not.Ready. (No, I'm not ready to be a grandmother or to kick my leg up like that). Anywhooters, there are a couple of reasons why I'm feelin' like a grumpy gram gram.
- My daughter is only 18.-She just graduated in May. C'mon now. My lil' mama is young. What's even more like a rabbit punch to the gut is that she got preggers on PURPOSE. Why would she take a chance on forfeiting her destiny? Silly girl.
- Her maturity level rivals that of a 12-13 y.o. kid- I understand that she is now considered an adult. Legally. However, when it comes to being responsible and conducting herself like a grown up..well...let me give you an example.
11:30 PM. earlier this week.
Phone ringing.
Me: (irritated tone) Yes Nadia. How can I help you?
Nadia: Are you asleep?
Me: Yes! You know that I have to get your brother up early for summer school.
Nadia: Why are you asleep so early?
**Crickets chirping**
Me:Nadia...WHAT..DO..YOU..WANT??!! I'm sleepy and WANT TO GO TO BED!!
Nadia: But Mom, I wanted to talk to you about the Spongebob Squarepants Movie!
Me: (dead silence while blinking rapidly) Goodnight Nadia.
3. **She was diagnosed with bipolar disorder- Living with someone that suffers from this destructive disorder is like riding the Goliath roller coaster at Six Flags. Once you get on, you know you're gonna hit those deep, steep hills...just not sure WHEN its gonna happen. Her moods are strangely similiar. Up and down. A twist here. A 50 ft drop there. Its gotten so severe, that she's had to be hospitialized more times than I have fingers and toes. It's scary to see my daughter suffer like this. Imagine her tryin' to be accountable for an itty bitty one with this dark cloud loomin' over her. Frightening.
As a result of her pregnancy, her doctor has had to stop her from taking one of her meds. So far so good. You know, I didn't make the choices that have ultimately put her in this sad situation. Yet when you love someone, sometimes their struggles will become your own. Even though you didn't ask for it.
If there's no turning back, the only choice is to continue forward.