Chew On This...

Disclaimer:What you are about to read is the REAL DEAL. If you can't appreciate raw honesty and truth, then perhaps this particular post just isn't for you. Come back and visit again. But for those who can appreciate a lil Henney with no coke, then I think you may be in the right place. Welcome.


I'm tired of hearing about it. Every major news channel and even those in between, have been buzzing about it. The passing of a legend. Another musical icon is about to be laid to rest. Michael Joseph Jackson. There was never one like him and nor will there EVER be. But chew on this for a sec. Where were his REAL fans when he was still walking around among the living? When he was being accused of being a perverted pedophile and his character was being stabbed, kicked, and pounded by the media and public opinion, where were the candlelight vigils then? When you were stuck in bumper to bumper traffic,did you hear every other car blasting "Billie Jean" from their Alpine speakers so loud that your windows were shaking and vibrating? I would venture to say probably not.




Almost every other blog post I see has some type of story dedicated especially to him. Pictures and videos galore. Folks hoopin' and hollerin' bout how they loved Mike and will miss him and how he was the greatest.(Sidenote: I wrote a story about him too, but the focus was on how he died).MySpace pages have become Michael Jackson SHRINES. BET even dedicated their '09 award show to his memory. Why now? The man is GONE and won't be coming back. He needed our assurance that he was irreplaceable when his album sales were no longer shooting through the cosmos. When he was on trial for his life and his integrity was being eaten for breakfast, lunch AND dinner, he needed our love and support to be TIRELESS. While the current displays of admiration and loyalty are gut wrenching and touching, the fact is Jacko can no longer appreciate it. The beautiful and colorful arrangement of flowers that will more than likely surround his casket he won't be able to smell. The expressions of adulation and devotion he won't be able to hear.




My point here is simple. Don't wait until an individual crosses over to the spirit realm to express your admiration. Show them that they are one of a kind despite any hang ups they may have. Life is uncertain. Let's start living like we know that already.

Songs That Make Me Shake/Shiver

It was late at night. I was on my cell chattin it up with this honey flavored specimen I met. While we were vibin on the celly, I heard this sexy sonnet coming from the television. Who IS this guy, I thought. I took a gander at my boob tube and the name of the artist rang no bells. Didn't matter. This song was DEFINITELY becoming part of my private collection. Please show love to my boy:



If you bob your head when you hear Jon B., I think you'll return the fav for this songster. You can check this one out on his cd entitled: Tomi.

Dramatic Fact of The Day Is..

We are about 1 cm taller in the morning than in the evening!!




The cartilage between our bones gets condensed by sitting, standing and other daily activities as the day goes on thus making us a tad shorter at the end of the day!!

Sidebar: This incredibly tall gentleman that you see pictured here is Bao Xishun who is now the world's 2nd tallest man coming in at an impressive 7"9 inches!!

Dramatic Fact of The Day Is..

It is IMPOSSIBLE to sneeze with your eyes open!!



When you sneeze, it affects different parts of the body like the neck, abdomen, chest and face.
During a sneeze, the impulses that travel through your face cause your eyelids to blink. This response is totally automatic.




In the past I've tried to keep my eyes open, but it didn't work!! Lol.

Dramatic Fact of The Day Is...

A brand of condoms was named after the Egyptian Pharoah Ramses. This amigo had more than 160 kids!!!



(Durex is the company that carries the Ramses brand).

Will She EVER Come Back??

DISCLAIMER: I decided to tell this story as if it were a play or a movie unfolding right before your eyes. Everything that you are about to read is TRUE. There are no fabrications or exaggerations. You ready?

Daughter:I don't have to listen to you!! Take me to the hospital. I need to go to the hospital NOW MOM!!
Me: Calm down. I'm NOT taking you to the hospital. Relax and try to bring it down.
Daughter: (runs downstairs)
Me:(runs downstairs behind her with MY mom also in tow)
**Daughter runs in the kitchen and grabs knife from the drawer**
Me: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
**Daughter puts knife up to her own throat than begins slashing at my mom**

Me: (tryin to grab the knife) Mom, I'm callin the cops!!
Mom: No!! We can handle it.
Me:(inside my head) The HELL we can!!
Me:(grabbin the phone and dialin 911)
(Daughter runs to the master bedroom and locks the door)
Me: (jiggling the doorknob)
Me:(kicking up dust to get the key while my mom stands at the door trying to talk to my daughter who's threatning that she is going to KILL my other daughter who is in there with her!!)



Me:(unlocking the door then I'm screaming like I just saw Ced the Entertainer naked.)
**MY DAUGHTER IS NOW CHOKING MY 4 Y.O. ON THE BED!!**
Daughter: I'M GOING TO KILL HER!!
**Doorbell ringing. I open the door while the officer comes in and tries (unsuccessfully) to restrain my oldest daughter. He radios that he needs backup ASAP. 2 more officers come in because my girl is TOTALLY out of control now. They FINALLY are able to get those silver bracelets on her. They walk her out and she turns and spews blood-filled saliva on me but not before calling me a female dog.





My daughter was diagnosed as being schizo affective. Because her behavior was considered dangerous and volatile, CPS (Child Protective Services) removed her from our home. She is now in a treatment facility. She's lost in her own mind and I wish for her to come back.

What REALLY Happened in Mike's House??

The world is still reeling from Jacko's untimely demise. So many questions. I mean, what's the deal? How? Why? Intial reports indicate cardiac arrest. But what brought THAT on?
According to an online news source, MJ's attorney Brian Oxman is saying that perscription drugs are what caused his heart to give out. Senor Oxman relayed that he had warned Mr. Jackson about this in the past. People from Mike's camp are sayin that he was taking Xanax, Zoloft, AND Demerol, which is a painkiller. Could this lethal cocktail have caused the death in our beloved Thriller icon?


It is also being told that Michael had a live in doctor who has now gone MIA. The word is that he allegedly gave Mike an injection shortly before his collapse. His autopsy is scheduled for today. Hopefully, this will provide his family and his fans with the facts of what REALLY occurred.

DRAMATIC FACT OF THE DAY IS...

The world's longest kiss was recorded to be 30 hrs, 59 minutes and 27 seconds!!! This lip lockin-slobber inducing event took place on January 28, 2002 on the Ricki Lake show..

'Memba this memorable movie moment??

Pucker up y'all and GO OUT THIS WEEKEND AND SEE IF YOU AND YOUR HONEYSPOT CAN BREAK THIS RECORD!!

Cuz I'm a cool chick, I'm gonna leave you with a lil...ummm..inspiration..

Dramatic Moments of Today Are...

Hell hath no fury...well you know the rest..Check it out... be careful who you mess with!! Lol...

Dramatic Fact of The Day Is..

In Hong Kong, a woman whose husband cheats on her has the legal right to kill him, but she is ONLY allowed to use her bare hands!!!


**Roaring of the airplane's engines**


Lol. I'm on my WAY!!

Drama Diva of The Week Is...

First, Chris "Bam Bam" Brown gets a legal swat on the hiney and told by the halls of justice not to misbehave again. Yeah ok. Now the word is that Rihanna might possibly be an undercover carpet muncher!! (Smirking).WHAT?? Mhmm..You read what I said. Apparently this Barbadian beauty has a new ballad entitled "Te Amo". Y'all know that means I love you in espanol, right? Peep some of the lyrics to get a better feel:

Then she says te amo then she put her hand around me waist
I told her no,
She cries Te amo i told her im not gonna run away but let me go
My soul is crying, without asking why
I said te amo, wouldnt somebody tell me what she said
Dont it mean I love you
Think it means I love you
Dont it mean I love you
Te amo, te amo, shes scared to breathe
I hold her hand, i got no choice uhh
Pull me out on the beach, danced in the water, i start to leave
Shes begging me and asking why its over

Alrighty. There's your free sample. Honestly. What do y'all think? Do these lyrics really signify that she's ready to connect with the likes of:




ROSIE




ELLEN




WANDA

Or MAYBE even...

DID ANYONE ELSE HAVE KNOWLEDGE OF THIS?!!

What in the world? I didn't know that Jill and her fiancee Jon Roberts were now HISTORY??!! Say it isn't so!! Sigh. First her divorce from Lyzel and now this. I was really holding out high hopes for this relationship. Especially since she just had her love child back in the spring. She seems to be maitaining well. Keep walking tall Jill.

Songs That make me Shiver/Shake

It was late at night. I was on my cell chattin it up with this honey flavored specimen I met. While we were vibin on the telly, I heard this sexy sonnet coming from my television. Who IS this guy I thought. I took a gander at my boob tube and the name of the artist rang no bells. Didn't matter. This song was DEFINITELY becoming part of my private collection. Please show some love to my boy:




If you bob your head when you hear Jon B, I think you'll return the favor for this songster.
You can check this one out on his cd entitled: Tomi.

He Called Me A MILF!!!!!

No, I'm not flattered. It doesn't make me want to smile so wide so that you can see the Brooklyn and London bridges in my mouth. Hey, don't get me wrong. I can appreciate when a man can compliment me PROPERLY. I might even do the Cabbage Patch for a minute or two. But when he uses THIS term to describe me, he has become a page in my history book. For those who may not be familiar with what the letters stand for, let me help:
M-Mother
I -I would
L -Like to
F - F**k

MILF. Say this word. It sounds like a person trying to say MILK, but with a serious lisp(shaking my head).
It's derogatory. It implies that a man just wants to beat the stuffing up and then discard you once he gets full.


(Hey, I was bored that day).

Sorry. But I refuse to be placed into this category no doubt created by some horny neanderthal.

According to a poll, here are some truly memorable MILF'S:

HALLE BERRY(Duh)


ANGELINA JOLIE(No doubt)


DEMI MOORE(Queen Cougar)


NIA LONG(Classic beauty)


Ok. Did I miss anyone?

Songs That Make Me Shiver/Shake

This week's selection used to be my personal anthem(closing my eyes and breathing deep). At the time this song hit the airwaves, I was in a dead end relationship with a man who couldn't keep his eyes on just me. Didn't matter though. Even though he treated me like dried cow dung scattered over an open field, I still pledged my undying love and fidelity. In my humblest opinion, I feel like Syleena is preaching the same sermon in her song entitled:



This song can be found on her cd: Chapter 1: Love, Pain, and Forgiveness.

Rih Rih vs. Breezy: Round 1

LET'S GET READY TO RUMMMMMMMMMMMBLE!!! Today is it!! Chris "Bam-Bam" Brown is going up against his most intimidating contentender to date. At around 1:45 P.M.(Pacific Time) the bell will ring and Rihanna will more than likely come out swinging through her own testimony. Or will she? Is she going to tell the whole truth and nothing but? It has been reported through other gossip informants that C Breezy has his own hot and spicy twist to this media melodrama. Allegedly, there were photos of him taken after the scuffle that weren't made available to the press. According to his camp, Rih Rih got in a few good licks of her own. Things that make you say hmm.



I found some footage that was taken right before it was on and poppin. Take a peep y'all.



The judge knows that there will be a media feeding frenzy if he allows tv or livestream coverage in the courtroom. As a result, he has prohibted this. This arbitrator of justice is SO on my ish list!! Nosey peeps like me want to see!!!

Congratulate Me!! I'm A Daddy!!

Nah, it's not a misprint. No you guys, I didn't go to the far regions of Brazil so that I could anonymously have my gender changed and rearranged. That's right. I am a lady. An empress. A force to be reckoned with. A fiercely fabulous femme fatale. More importantly, this tigress plays an essential dual role in the lives of her four cubs. By my own standards, I sometimes resent that fact. I mean, how is it possible for ME to be some body's Papa? I'm not a man and nor do I want to be. A mom and dad are clearly supposed to play different roles in this production that we call PARENTHOOD. Yet by default, my 2 men-in-training are depending on me to school them on what it takes to have testicles and an over abundant amount of testerone.

I swear on my Aunt Juanita's wig piece that I didn't sign up for this. Now, don't go calling Child Protective Services trying to sling accusations that I'm an unfit parent. It's not like that. Listen y'all. Being a mamacita has been a phenomenal journey of sorts. My Creator has bestowed on me 4 irreplaceable gifts in which I could never repay Him for. BUT, on the black hand side though, this passage through parenthood has been OVERWHELMING at times. My teen queen is so severely schizo affective that the state has had to remove her from our residence.My youngest angel is autistic and has no speech. My 15 y.o. Prince Charming is cantankerous and struggles with an addiction to porn. Damn. Can a sista catch a break? I know you must have asked yourself this a milli times, right? WHERE IS THEY DADDY AT? Lol. Well, he has decided to chuck my babies the peace sign and take the scenic route out of their lil lives. Sigh. Taking on the part of a father implies masculinity and I represent femininity to the core. I do not aspire to be something that I was not CREATED to be. Yet, here I am am like so many other single mami's who have to wear not only the apron but the jock strap as well. (Bowing my head in a moment of silence).

I would like to present to you the most important fixtures in my existence:

Overexposed/Overrated

Her momma must be so proud. I mean, her baby gurl has made it BIG. She helped launch her own reality series on the idiot box. Currently dating one of the finest running backs in the history of the NFL. When you're standing in the checkout line at Walmart, her face is plastered on just about every entertainment mag there is out there. She's gets monetarily compensated to primp and pose in front of the camera lens with ultra tight clothing while the world gets a birds eye view of her overexposed assets. What a life!! And all she had to do was star in her own homemade skin flick while "ain't that Brandy's brotha?"(Ray J) tapped that tootsie roll from every angle and direction. She tearfully claimed that the steamy tape had been "leaked." But she managed to walk away from that lawsuit with a cool and icy $ 5 mill. Bet was she was crying a river all the way to the bank, huh? Cha-ching!!


Ok. So how did Ray Ray benefit from all of this torrid hot sex and scandal? Hmm. Well, he did a couple of tv interviews where he admitted that Kim was indeed the one who had initial control of the do-it-yourself porno. Besides that, MTV also sponsored his lame, somebody -please-shoot-me reality soap opera. Yawn. Oh, but wait. He did get to take a few romps in the sheets with the Queen of Crack(Whitney Houston) herself. Boy, I tell you. What young man doesn't aspire to be a cougar's conquest for a couple of months, eh? What a world!!



Even though I'm not the acting prez of Kim K's fan club, I'm not a hater. I believe in giving props where it fits in. I think she's pretty and she also has a physique that's hard to ignore. She's got a hot fudge-perfectly proportioned and toned-Adonis who has publically claimed her as his boo boo. I don't know yall. Maybe I need to call my old bf Haneef and have him blow the dust off our sweaty sheet escapades that we caught on tape. Hey, you never know. Maybe one day ya'll might see my name up in lights!! Worth a shot, don't you think??

What's Up With Morgan Freakman? I mean Freeman?

I was doing about a buck 50 down the internet superhighway. Feeling a little worn out, I decided to take a much needed pit stop at a blacktainment website. I was starving for a steaming, heaping plate of celebrity he said she said. The first headline I saw made my eyeballs bleed and my brain call earl. Nah. It wasn't about Lil Wayne and his car load of concubines. Sorry.But that saga really wasn't jaw dropping to me. What I saw was much more heinous. Disappointing. Disheartening. This headline screamed and hollered from the rooftop that Morgan Freeman was allegedly accused of banging the back out of his step granddaughter. SMH.



According to the gossip trail, Mr. Freakman (sorry, Mr. Freeman) and his now ex spouse had a relationship where they could get they freak on with different playmates. (They know they mamas wouldn't have stood for that bull ish!!) Apparently, his step granddaughter had called the former Mrs. and poured out her guts about what was going down behind closed doors. She allegedly reports that she had given Morgan some sexy pics of her hoping that would get his libido down to an acceptable level. Supposedly, this wasnt enough for Sir Freakiness. According to an insider, he's been fornicating with this chica since she was in her teens.



I'm trying hard not to jump to conclusions. I mean, it could just be a bowl of shocking untruths stirred up by the public's need for a juicy drama full of lust and intrigue. But, I actually admired this dude. From the days that he costarred in the 70's show the Electric Company to his Oscar studded performance in Million Dollar Baby (which really wasnt all that hot to me), he seemed to keep his nose free of scandalous debris for all these years up until just recently. I'm saying though. If this IS true, why did it have to be her? The man is a Hollywood Don. Even though his looks are somewhat overly ethnic, I'm sure he still could have had his share of women based on his name and fame alone. Not to mention the fact that Morgan is 7 decades old with a 2 piece on the side!! In the name of catfish and grits...his STEP GRANDDAUGHTER??

Songs That make Me Shiver/Shake

Jill Scott. Talented.Versatile. Classy.Sista gurl. She's the epitome of what I want to be when I grow up. Her fusion style I can only describe as fried neo soul with a creamy side helping of jazz with a nice refreshing glass of spoken word. Mmmmmmhmmm. This week's musical score that makes my knees shake and quiver like cafeteria jello is ....(drum roll)..



CROWN ROYAL included on her cd entitled Jill Scott: The Real Thing Words And Sounds Vol. 3



Someone told me that this intoxicant goes down real smooth like. Let's just say that the person that told me this little white lie is no longer in my circle. That liquid mind altering substance burned my chest cavity so bad that I spewed up FIRE AND BRIMSTONE. Smokey The Bear had to come and pay me a visit (hanging my head in shame)

I'm An Equal Opportunity Playa/ E.O.P.

I was chattin it up with my best bud through online correspondence. Ya know good ole email. Unfortunately, we can't talk retina to retina because he is sailing the ocean blue protecting our seaways from enemies both near and far. What a man, what a man, what a man, what a MIGHTY good man!! Ahem. Sorry. To protect his privacy (and to save a tongue lashing later on) I won't use his real name. Let's just call him...Reggie. I relayed to Reg that I had come in contact with a new victim..I mean gentleman. I described to my com padre that the relationship that I had with this new guy was far from serious but closer to casual. Sigh. True to male form, he assumed that me and this new brother were tearing up headboards and becoming stockholders with the Trojan Brand Condoms Company.


Damn. How does he know me so well? But just like a child who's been caught with their hand in the cookie jar...I denied that laid back aspect of my new found fling. Reg then asked how I was feeling about this newbie. I politely informed him that I really felt..nothing. Kinda like looking at a blank piece of paper. I mean, this guy just doesn't move me except in the boudoir. I mean he has the skills of a professional porn star. I'm talking real here. When he puts his fries with my shake,(vigorously shaking my head) I lose all sense of time and space. I instructed my partner in crime that if my new friend didn't have a gold medal in the pole vault competition, than I would have given him his pink slip already. In other words, HIS PURPOSE IS MERELY TO QUENCH MY SEXUAL APPETITE AND THIRST AT MY DISPOSAL.

I mean, is that so terrible? Is this like asking someone to sacrifice their first born? Reggie thought so. His response was scathing. Harsh. To say I was shocked and throwed is the understatement of the year. He told me that a man's ultimate purpose in life is not to be used. He than began questioning our own interconnection. He asked me to tell him what my intentions were for him. Oh my Becky. Where in the cosmos is this all stemming from? Ok. Since I consider myself a Henney with no coke kind of chick, I gotta mention this. Sigh. Reg and I had an intimate encounter of the best kind about a month and a half ago. It only happened once. Things got kinda freakish for a minute after that. But shoot, I thought we were back on the good foot. I told him that he would always be my best friend no matter what. I made it known that I do like to sample more than one flavor of ice cream at a time. Ironically, he has chosen to walk down the same path. I mean he loudly proclaims from the rooftops that he loves being a bachelor. I don't condemn him for his lifestyle choice. Why should he poo poo on mine?